When a child's parent's get separated or divorced, the effects can be dramatic. Children are often traumatized by the breaking apart of their family. Squabbling and bitter custody battles often exacerbate the trauma.

On this page you'll find information on how to help a child through a divorce and custody battle. Catching the signs and symptoms and where to seek for help, as well as online resources.

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Children's self-oriented focus often causes them to think they are responsible for all bad things that happen including the breaking up of the marriage The pressure and tension of this situation is almost too much for children to bear. The animosity will leave the children feeling that they have to choose sides, or appear to choose sides with each parent. Taking sides with each parent independently forces the child to learn and practice deception. It also causes the child emotional trauma because their psyche and cognitive abilities are not fully developed and children are not yet capable of processing conflicting information or emotions. Children are not able to make realistic assessments about parents and whenever they are confronted with bad situations, they tend to look at themselves as the problem. Children have very fragile egos and they place the pieces of life's puzzle together in a way that makes sense to them. They are too young to fully understand and grapple with the complex problems imposed by divorce. Sadly, the loss of trust felt by the adults puts doubts into the child's mind and causes the child to lose the precious innocence of youth.

	Signs & Symptoms

• Loss of appetite
• Complains of headaches or stomachaches.
• More fretful, anxious, crying and clinging
• Problems sleeping; may have more nightmares.
• Regression to infant behaviors (back to diapers, thumb sucking)
• May feel anger, may not understand why he or she feels that way. May worry when parent is out of sight. May withdraw, bite, or be irritable.
• May feel responsible and hold anger inside.
• Feels that he or she should be punished.
• May be accident-prone.
• May become aggressive and angry toward parent he or she lives with.
• Tries to take control over family. Tries to take advantage of parents' low energy and high stress levels.
• Experiences feelings of grief because of sudden absence of parent. Feels deceived and feels a sense of loss. Feels abandoned and rejected by the parent who left. May try to cut one or both parents out of her or his life if she or he feels rejected.
• Hopes parents will get back together.
• Ignores school and friendships. Fears nobody will be there to