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At any one time in the United States, there are 1.3 million runaway youth. In fact, one in seven teens will run away from home sometime before the age of 18. Some will run away from home more than once. There are many factors which influence why children may run away; some of the factors are peer pressure, family parental neglect and abuse, drug and alcohol use, mental illness, traumatic events and loss.
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Runaways |
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Take your children's concerns seriously. Confront signs of trouble
directly and discuss your concerns with your child.
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Signs & Symptoms1 |
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- Sleep changes like fatigue, early morning wakenings, insomnia, increased sleeping.
- Personality changes may be displayed; Abrupt mood swings, excessive blow-ups triggered by small things, apathy, boredom, irritability, preoccupation with a single thought.
- Withdrawal from the family such as growing isolation, increased violation of house rules, avoidance of family gatherings even at meals
- School problems be it falling grades, truancy, cutting classes, fights, and disciplinary problems.
- Withdrawal from friends such as fallouts with friends, hostility toward former friends, new (older) friends, reluctance to introduce parents to new friends.
- Overreaction to change; prolonged reaction to loss or stress from death, divorce, illness, loss of job, a move to another city.
- Trust your feelings since parents often have "gut" feelings when something is wrong. Trust those feelings and watch for these signs.
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Dos & Don'ts for Parents of Teenagers2 |
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| Dos |
Don'ts |
- Acknowledge appropriate or desirable behavior with praise or rewards.
- Model the type of behavior you want from your teenager. If you want honest expressions of feelings, you must do the same.
- Be consistent with rule setting.
- Acknowledge your mistakes. Your teen needs to know that you recognize that you make mistakes and are willing to take responsibility or them.
- Regularly ask your teenager how her day was and how she is feeling. It will open up communication and let her know that you are available to listen when she is having a problem, or when things are going great.
- Use “active listening” with your teenager. Pay careful attention to the emotion behind the message and try to determine what your teenager said by rephrasing it into your own words.
- Give undivided attention when your teenager wants you.
- Compliment your child when he makes an effort to look nice and take pride in his appearance.
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- Criticize every little thing your teenager does “wrong.” Remember that everyone makes mistakes and that your child does “good” things sometimes, too.
- Say one thing and do another
- Change your mind several times about rules. If you are inconsistent, your teenager will learn how to easily manipulate you.
- Ignore or deny your mistakes. Your teenager will recognize this behavior and may model himself after it. Also, it encourages lack of responsibility.
- Ignore your teenager’s moods. Although teenagers are moody by nature, ignoring any behavior associated with moodiness, withdrawing, or major changes in behavior may be ignoring a significant problem in the life of your teenager.
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References |
- 1Runaway Teens.org
An online resource for both parents and teenagers on the subject of runaway youth and the prevention of runaways.
- 2National Runaway Switchboard
Information on preventing runaway youth and resources for parents and youth.
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